So, in the previous post I discussed some of the questions and issues you want to consider for yourself as a mentor in the area of expectations and how they affect the mentoring process. This post is focused on the expectations of a mentee and how they affect the relationship.
What does your mentee expect?
This question deserves serious consideration As the expectations you have for yourself and your mentee are key factors in determining the effectiveness of the relationship, so, too, the mentee's expectations of her mentor and herself must be clarified.
Some of the questions you will want your mentee to consider include:
Re: Mentee's Expectations of Her Mentor -
1. What are my main goals for this process?
2. How can this potential mentor help me achieve these goals?
3. Why does being mentored by this person appeal to me?
4. Am I open to correction and accountability by this person?
5. What do I believe are the mentor's responsiblities in this process?
Re: Mentee's Expectations of Herself -
1. How much time (daily, weekly, monthly) am I prepared to commit to this process?
2. How long (3 mo, 6 mo, 1 yr) am I prepared to commit to this?
3. What are my strengths What are my weaknesses? How will these affect my ability to meet my goals in this process?
4. What do I think are my responsibilities in this relationship?
5. Why do I need or want a mentor?
By asking your potential mentee to consider and answer these questions prayerfully you will gain several very important pieces of information.
~ An understanding of the mentee's view of mentoring
~ Awareness of the mentee's expectations
~ Ascertainment of the mentee's timeframe for the process
~ Information about the mentee's personal goals for the process
~ Determination of the mentee's dedication and commitment to mentoring
A few other questions I generally ask include:
1. Does your spouse (if applicable) support your pursuit of this mentoring relationship?
2. Are there any significant events (marriage, new baby, move, change of job, etc) that will happen during the timeframe you want to be mentored? If so, how do you anticipate this could impact the mentoring process?
Taking the time to evaluate expectations BEFORE beginning a mentoring relationship may appear to be a very small step - but, again, I firmly belive that a major factor in the success of a mentoring relationship is common expectations. Obviously there will still be issues that crop up; but, laying a solid foundation provides the best mechanism for dealing with these things.
So - get out your pencil and paper and start the process!
What do YOU expect??
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2 comments:
This is also a great plan! For me I mentoring is also a relationship and it never ends. I'm still mentoring long distance a few girls from our first ministry. And now from our last church I have 3 girls whom I still pray with and keep close tabs on. My prayer is that as they get older they will still see me as that mentor and call me when they need that true friend to guide them back to the right path. So I often think of this as a lifetime appointment to any girl who needs it. I'm a forever friend personality. Once we are friends that's it you got me for life. Unless you betray me... well I have to work on that, because I can cut people off and never look back... wonder if that's good or bad?
Here are my question:
Should a mentor who's never had a mentor have a mentor? Sure it would benefit her if she herself has/had a mentor but can she tackle mentoring without ever being mentored herself? Would that experience greatly improve her ability to mentor?
great blog!
Great question, T! I am a mentor who never had a mentor. I read and studied and prayed about how to "do" mentoring. I don't know if it is a help or hurt. I believe God gives some of us a real passion for investing in the lives of others. Great thoughts. I need to process this more - and, I feel a post coming with more on this. I think it's a question many may have! Thanks, girl, you always challenge me!!
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